Turkey Hell Farm

Normally I wouldn't blog about a day out raspberry picking, it doesn't sound terrrrribly exciting, plus I wouldn't like to tarnish the very manly image everyone has of me, but this one is worth putting my pride on the line for. We almost got kicked out of a freaking berry picking farm, I mean honestly who gets kicked out of a flippin' berry farm. I will tell the story but falsify the names, just in case we still get prosecuted.

Apparently there are a few unwritten and unclearly written rules to berry picking,


Rule 1: Dont believe the sign that says "its ok to eat a few berries, beyond that its considered
stealing" example: one member of our party, (I will call him Rob) fell victim to the
ambiguity of "few" and was yelled out of the field by the berry nazi, what the
h..........!!!!!!!!!!

REENACTMENT:
Berry Nazi: (friendly tone) How do you like those berries?
Rob : (friendly tone) They are good
Berry Nazi: (angry tone) Well we dont run a charity here.
Rob: (angry tone) Chill out!!!!
Berry Nazi: Your gonna pay an extra dollar for those.
Rob: (still eating berries and leaving scene of crime) Fine I'll pay an extra dollar.



Rule 2: Dont pick off a berry bush that someone's at unless:
a.) You know them and they've agreed to share it with you.
b.) You dont them but their civilized, and agree to share it with you
c.) You dont know them, but they're blind.


Rule 3: Don' t pick off a bush with someone else:
a.) If they're blind and the berry nazi is watching.
b.) If they're weird. (apparently weird people are very territorial about their bushes, see
following reenactment with a member of our unsuspecting party, we'll call him Jeremy
Blackwood and a weird foreign lady))


Jeremy: (innocently kneels down on other side of berry-laden bush to pick with
weird foreign lady)

Weird Foreign Lady: Dis is my bush. (chucks a blueberry at Jeremy, striking him in chest,
attracting the icy stare of the berry nazi AT ME, what.............. I'm a victim here.)

Jeremy: (Goes to next bush, kneels down next to kind looking old man to pick)

Kind looking old man: Go get your own bush!!!!!!!

Jeremy: Are you serious. (Walks away in totally rejected)




Seriously though these were real conversations, it was ridiculous, I mean honestly who throws a berry, COME ON PEOPLE, GROW UP!!!!!!!!!

Anyone who can think of more details feel free to comment, and we'll consider this a warning post to anyone thinking of picking at Turkey Hell Farm.