Monday, July 16, 2007

Turkey Hell Farm

Normally I wouldn't blog about a day out raspberry picking, it doesn't sound terrrrribly exciting, plus I wouldn't like to tarnish the very manly image everyone has of me, but this one is worth putting my pride on the line for. We almost got kicked out of a freaking berry picking farm, I mean honestly who gets kicked out of a flippin' berry farm. I will tell the story but falsify the names, just in case we still get prosecuted.

Apparently there are a few unwritten and unclearly written rules to berry picking,

Rule 1: Dont believe the sign that says "its ok to eat a few berries, beyond that its considered
stealing" example: one member of our party, (I will call him Rob) fell victim to the
ambiguity of "few" and was yelled out of the field by the berry nazi, what the

Berry Nazi: (friendly tone) How do you like those berries?
Rob : (friendly tone) They are good
Berry Nazi: (angry tone) Well we dont run a charity here.
Rob: (angry tone) Chill out!!!!
Berry Nazi: Your gonna pay an extra dollar for those.
Rob: (still eating berries and leaving scene of crime) Fine I'll pay an extra dollar.

Rule 2: Dont pick off a berry bush that someone's at unless:
a.) You know them and they've agreed to share it with you.
b.) You dont them but their civilized, and agree to share it with you
c.) You dont know them, but they're blind.

Rule 3: Don' t pick off a bush with someone else:
a.) If they're blind and the berry nazi is watching.
b.) If they're weird. (apparently weird people are very territorial about their bushes, see
following reenactment with a member of our unsuspecting party, we'll call him Jeremy
Blackwood and a weird foreign lady))

Jeremy: (innocently kneels down on other side of berry-laden bush to pick with
weird foreign lady)

Weird Foreign Lady: Dis is my bush. (chucks a blueberry at Jeremy, striking him in chest,
attracting the icy stare of the berry nazi AT ME, what.............. I'm a victim here.)

Jeremy: (Goes to next bush, kneels down next to kind looking old man to pick)

Kind looking old man: Go get your own bush!!!!!!!

Jeremy: Are you serious. (Walks away in totally rejected)

Seriously though these were real conversations, it was ridiculous, I mean honestly who throws a berry, COME ON PEOPLE, GROW UP!!!!!!!!!

Anyone who can think of more details feel free to comment, and we'll consider this a warning post to anyone thinking of picking at Turkey Hell Farm.

Thursday, June 21, 2007


Last week I was talking to a patient, he had a very magnetic personality, yet he was quiet. He was one of those people I just wanted to be around and talk to. I imagine that it would have been the same way with Christ, he was followed not for his fanfare, rather he was a quiet man, yet quietly loud, drawing attention by his silent humility and kind demeanor.

This man was the same way, I was immediately drawn by his mere existence, there was something special about this young man. I felt like he had a lot of deep insight and I couldn't wait to find out his story, the psychiatric ward is the last place it seems he should be. Later that shift I went into his room to interview him and found him at his desk, bible open and pen in hand, needless to say I was deeply moved and chose not to interfere, I would just come back and talk to him later.

A few hours later I went back and walked in on the same scene. I wish I could put into words how inspiring it is to see someone who just wants to do right, that has taken the truth he has and is anxiously pursuing it. His story was sad, in haste to feel a sense of belonging he'd joined a cult with the promises of eternal happiness and exaltation. Once in he knew something wasn't right and was treated harshly when he tried to leave, finally he got out and tried again to find God, (although the first time had proven itself traumatic), otherwise known as a faith unwavering.

It is truly awesome what vibes are given off when someone is filled with the power of God as this young man was, it is even more amazing to think that as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, having the whole truth, what powerful quiet examples we can and are being.

Friday, June 8, 2007

post transfer I hope

I'll title my blog...My Blog Duh
Thursday, January 25, 2007

"I'm a lesbian" ~ A man patient~

"Captain Jones wants me to call mission control, you've got to let me go they need me"~ A man patient~

"You've got to rescue me, their holding me against my will"~Note given to pizza delivery boy by a man patient~

Man patient: You got a girl?
Me: No
Man patient: You got a dog?
Me: No
Man patient: A cat????
Me: No(pause to allow man patient to come up with the next logical question)
Man Patient: You got roaches???????
Me: Possibly, but I dont think so
Man Patient: Man you really are worse of than I am (Man patient walks off)
Me: (Left baffled and wondering how I'm gonna get my self-esteem back)

Me: Hey your slips showing
Man patient: Oh no (reaches down to frantically pull down jeans to cover up visual hallucination)

Man Patient: Hey I've got Diarrea wanna buy some.
Me: What would I use it for
Man patient: You could use it as gravy for your rice
Me: Thats disgusting
Man patient: Alright then you can buy a lump for fifty cents a pound. ( salesman voice)
posted by Jer at 4:59 AM 2 comments
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This is a paragraph of text that could go in the sidebar.

Is it ok to lose patience at times

So I 've been here all day yes the 8-11 shift in the bin, yes thats 8 in the AM to 11 in the PM, and here I am at shortly after 7 in the PM on said day and already raging mad. The borderline lady that isn't even my patient has been following me around all day and as much as I love my loonies, 12 hours is an exhausting amount of time to be followed, I imagine my kids, my newborn kids wont need this much attention. Bless her, 70 something years old and still chasing boys, old men would get arrested for that. Just wish my future eternal companion would give me this much attention, would make that decision easy.

Then theres the old "CIA, marine, navy seal etc" irishman who keeps picking fights with his hippy roommate. Most commonly overheard fight-starters:

"You weren't born you were hatched, 9 months later out popped you" or

"You look like you've been interfering with a cow, have you been interfering with a cow?"

Both said with deep irish accent, ok maybe its inappropriate, and I apologize to those of you with a civilized nature, but I guess my love for humor runs deeper than my love for appropriate. Well blogging world thanks for hearing me out, really I do enjoy my work although it will leave me irreversibly weird, just days like this require a good venting/humorous blog.

Thursday, March 1, 2007


This post is an attempt to sort through the intricacies of life. At times I feel I cant win, when I am trying to do what is right by my heavenly dad, and live a life conducive to his will, life is still difficult.
This posting stuff is good, I have not realized how hard it is too share feelings with anyone let alone, the bloggin world. Yet there is a certain degree of therapy that is provided. I tell patients at work about how important it is to be honest with themselves and with others, it is a principle that I have always wanted to live by, and have prided myself in, I have come to wonder if it is so true though. I have been honest at very difficult times, and I'm thankful for that, but I have also learned that the traits we see as being our strongest are oft times our weakest, so I wonder. What is it that keeps me from being completely honest, well I fear hurting others, at times I place the blmae on others for my inablity to be honest. Some people make it hard to be honest with them because they allow every word, action, thought, feeling and deed to have so much weight on who they are. I think it is the curse of being the oldest, the sense that they are always watching and all of a sudden all my actions have so much weight behind them, because I am showing the path for those that are looking up to me for the way.

Thanks for hearing me out bloggin out of time but this will be continued.


Why would I get cut off, no one else seems to.

First blog again

The blogging peeps cut me off, RUDE. So I'm starting again.