This post is an attempt to sort through the intricacies of life. At times I feel I cant win, when I am trying to do what is right by my heavenly dad, and live a life conducive to his will, life is still difficult.
This posting stuff is good, I have not realized how hard it is too share feelings with anyone let alone, the bloggin world. Yet there is a certain degree of therapy that is provided. I tell patients at work about how important it is to be honest with themselves and with others, it is a principle that I have always wanted to live by, and have prided myself in, I have come to wonder if it is so true though. I have been honest at very difficult times, and I'm thankful for that, but I have also learned that the traits we see as being our strongest are oft times our weakest, so I wonder. What is it that keeps me from being completely honest, well I fear hurting others, at times I place the blmae on others for my inablity to be honest. Some people make it hard to be honest with them because they allow every word, action, thought, feeling and deed to have so much weight on who they are. I think it is the curse of being the oldest, the sense that they are always watching and all of a sudden all my actions have so much weight behind them, because I am showing the path for those that are looking up to me for the way.
Thanks for hearing me out bloggin world........run out of time but this will be continued.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
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